Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
