Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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