I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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