Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
