I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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