Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize