She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
