No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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