yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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