Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize