The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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