Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
