No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize