And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
