guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
