There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
