She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
