I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
