anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
