the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
