Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
This is the high leading the old right now
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
