with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
