i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I came so hard my ears popped.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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