Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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