If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
