i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
