Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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