i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
