Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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