OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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