The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
