Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
"it" just moved
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
