he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
