Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
