you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
