a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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