I'm gonna have a badass scar
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
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