i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
