I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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