your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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