we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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