Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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