Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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