Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You brought string cheese to the strip club
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
