I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
