I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
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