haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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