so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
she woke up with a sticky ear
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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