That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
