Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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