I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
