I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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