Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
