Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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