so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
