Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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