Christians are straight up FREAKS
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize