So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize