What a fucking waste of an outfit
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
