sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
