She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
