If that was your dad, he is hot
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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