bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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