Just mADE A PArabola og urine
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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