Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
