Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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