Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
