I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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