Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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