just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
