i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
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