No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize