Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
