im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
two words: eviction party
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
