That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
