i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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